Sexy songs: 'Physical' gets nod, not sure why

It's official. "Let's Get Physical" is the sexiest song of all time.

That's what a poll by Billboard Magazine says. Olivia Newton-John's single, released in the early 1980s, got the nod over choices from Rod Stewart and Marvin Gaye.

Somehow I can't see it.

This isn't even my age talking; I was in my early 20s when that song came out, and yeah, I did like it. My then-girlfriend also loved that song; in fact she first called it to my attention and the title became a wry part of our secret vocabulary.

For Newton-John, this was something of a reach. She'd had something of a squeaky-clean image, and the song broke the mold for her. But the video had her working out on all sorts of exercise equipment, just so folks wouldn't read "Get Physical" as a dirty song. It was a nice use of double entendre, I thought. Exercise? Yeah, right.

But the sexiest song? Not likely. While the lyrics are there, the song's beat and tone do not spell sexy. Not even close. It doesn't even make me want to hit the gym, but then I don't visit those places very often.

Besides, subtlety is a big part of sexy. Except for the exercise angle, there wasn't much of that there.

Stewart's best, "Tonight's The Night," had the grooves and lyric that spelled sexy, although the part about spreading wings wasn't exactly subtle.

Back a few years before my heyday, Johnny Mathis was it as far as coming out with sexy songs -- funny when you consider he didn't "roll that way," as the parlance goes. But the lyrics were right there, and the velvety tones of his voice and the arrangements set the stage for many a romantic encounter. Nat King Cole was another from a few years earlier ("Unforgettable" was one of the greatest of all time). I've come to really enjoy Nat, and his piano playing was highly underrated. Check out some of his earlier stuff ("Straighten Up And Fly Right") for a sample there, even though that song wasn't one to set up the mood.

My own choice for sexiest song? "Invisible Lady" by Charles Mingus. He was at the piano for this one, with Jimmie Knepper as the lead instrumental voice. "Invisible Lady" was in the same vein as some of Duke Ellington's songs, kind of like a smooth "Satin Doll," and Mingus employed Knepper in about the same way the Duke used his great trombonist Lawrence Brown. Knepper's trombone work was buttery, melting all over the place, with just the right touch of mystery.

It's an instrumental, but that's all right. Sometimes words just get in the way, right?

Try this with your spouse: Lights low, per normal. Employ all the rest of the romantic things you use. And put on "Invisible Lady."

If that doesn't set the proper mood, stick a mirror under your nose. I'll bet it won't fog.

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31 years past his death, Mingus is still great

Bassist and band leader Charles Mingus passed away 31 years ago today, on Jan. 5, 1979.

Simply put, he was one of the greatest in jazz -- particularly if you could stand to work with him. There are plenty of stories about that aspect of Mingus' personality.

Here's a twofer from Mingus: "Moanin," a song that first showed up on his Blues And Roots album (love that baritone sax there), and his version of Duke Ellington's "Take The A Train."

Right around 1960 Mingus had his own Ellington phase, switching over to the piano, going with slightly larger bands, and deploying trombonist Jimmie Knepper more frequently, in a role similar to what Lawrence Brown played for The Duke.

Knepper and Mingus later had an altercation and Mingus punched his trombonist in the mouth -- unforgivable stuff given Knepper needed a good lip to play. Knepper later sued Mingus but admitted from the stand that he did his best work ever under that lunatic.



But this video is from later, probably around 1964. That's when Mingus used one of his best-ever touring bands, with Jaki Byard on piano and Eric Dolphy on alto sax/bass clarinet/flute. Dolphy's featured here.

Mingus is definitely one of my favorites.

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